..~*Sino si FOUNDER???*~..
I'm Jazzy, 16 y/o psychology student yet owns a heart of being still a Peyup, a simple reason why I'm always trying to convince myself that I'm smart, even though in a crowd of the young and brilliant minds, I'm nothing but a mere speck of dust. I'm an activist and a sorority gurl in UP Chapter. I make use much of my strength and knowledge to impress others. This is all, of course, in the sense of satisfaction. I own a heart and a mind of an Iskolar ng Bayan. Being cerebral 24-7 to come up with so-called great ideas is my common diversion. . . Behind the vast curtain of actuality, Im struggling.
Life, college life in particular, is just a matter of ups and downs. In a humble place I fondly call Unibersidad ng Pilipinas, everyone is driven to perfection... Perfection we never came close to conquering. That makes a Peyup more prone to disappointments - a revolting matter that we can not escape.
I'm gonna be brutally honest here. I lost my chances of graduating in such so-called "Premier State University, and as proposed by senate, will be soon the National University of the Philippines", and it totally hurts...*ouch*... The thing about losing is that you have to accept that you're the big fat loser. In layman's terms "Be sports!". A good example for this is my "Be sports" routine: paint a big fake smile on the face and say, "OK lang. There's always a next time." WTF, this is so pathetic!! I am so pathetic... Even if I reiterate that effing statement gazillion times, it is never OK... It will never be OK.
Who must be blamed? My parents who never like me studying there for it can cause brainaches since at the very start I set foot on such University, who hates my course (BS Applied Mathematics) because of my speechless answer about what kind of job I'm gonna land with when I'm going to graduate with such course, who always want me to take BS Nursing at Silliman University, and who always scold me of being there trying to survive the pressure? Or simply myself for I failed to follow my parents' command of not entering a confraternity and of taking a course where only Math genius can graduate with it? ugh! I hate it!
Did I really lose? Or just a victim of an unfair world, fate, or destiny? Ugh! I always dreamed of being there. Of being a UP graduate, yet my parents have already stolen my chances, and I guess... I will never be back on what I so called then - "my great school".
I'm Jazzy...I guess I'm kinda eccentric. My addiction to stuffs connected to the World Wide Web and the Unlimited Texting Service got me into gazillion of troubles already. I look up to famous geeks like Bill Gates and Albert Einstein. I'm currently scheming some evil plans to get myself employed in Microsoft and any Cellphone Corporation. And one of my many genius plans is to create a virtually indestructible computer and cellphone bug or virus.
Dissapointments....Frustrations...ugh! My parents, my life, my wants and needs, my actions, and simply of being who I am flood my soul with disappointing craps. And I guess, up to now, my parents' expectations has putting too much pressure on me. And my litany in life is just "I must survive and win." Underscore MUST! If you're lucky enough to win a competition, two thumbs up for you. But if you lose, I'm so sorry... Go crush yourself with a boulder!... *sigh* ... You've guessed it right, clanmates! I was crushed... I already started picking up the pieces of my shattered self. In a matter of days (or weeks) I'll be ready for another battle.
Amidst the negativity, I can't get away from the fact that I am still Jazzy, a person who, as everybody claims, excells in all her endeavors. I must not give up easily. I must deal with the challenges that come my way and cope up with obstacles that could induce disappointment. That's right, I am Jazzy. I shouldn't be fazed by failures... I should learn from them.
